first cut is the deepest

The first time was from a hug
after a bottle of rose wine and tons of laughter
that leads on to the first kiss
which made me first realized
of things i never thought i would do
then came the first trip together
first thing in the morning, a breakfast at central park
so for the first time, everyone had a confidence
"an older working man and that was first!
this could last, if you first clean up your act", they said
for the first time they started talking about the last subject- marriage
and for the first time, i realized i couldn't feel him anymore.

yesterday was the first day i found a stranger sitting silently in the living room
not even there, a thousand miles away

He is beautiful. He is handsome. He is charming. He is witty. He is class. He is smart. He speaks of love to the moon right before the sun turns him into a she.

Now she is lost amidst the smoke of her own cigarettes.

This year is my year! The Rat

Life hasn't came back to its normal pace. school just started, flu just gotten over, room is still messy as ever..

I'm off to New Orleans in 3 weeks to view the site for our proposal of single residential family housing in N.O after the Katrina hurricane that supposedly Brad Pitt also played a role. It's gonna be exciting as this will be a design/build project, we'll have licensed architect and structural engineer working with us. I am hoping to get the ultimate best out of my last studio.

I've been bouncing back and forth between thesis or not. The argument was still weak for me to pursue something I was not sure of. Otherwise the real reason of backing out from thesis was really 'chickening out'. I am now are confident with my own decision to take another studio .. coz I can have the time to do japanese ink painting and photography class as well.

how exiciting, i'm exicited... plus with my pay check that I received yesterday. It's gonna be a blast!